Pausing and Prioritizing
December 21, 2025
There are moments in life that invite us to pause and assess, whether it’s a new season, the start of a new year, or an internal nudge that something doesn’t quite fit like it used to. These moments aren’t always substantial, but they often mark important transitions: times when we begin to reconsider what we’re holding onto and what should be let go.
When we allow ourselves to pause, the next natural step is reflection. Taking an honest look at what you’re thinking, feeling, and doing is a form of self-inquiry that can bring longstanding patterns into view and build capacity for greater flexibility and choice. As awareness grows, so does introspection around your motivations, priorities, and desires. From there, you’re better positioned to be discerning about how to live the life you want.
Contrary to what it can feel like, letting go isn’t about giving up or disengaging; it’s about choosing deliberately. It can be helpful to ask yourself important questions, such as: What am I holding onto? Is it benefiting me—or is it draining my energy, time, or focus? What does continuing this commitment actually cost me (physically and emotionally)? And perhaps most importantly, what am I preventing myself from doing by maintaining things as they are?
These questions help identify and begin to clarify the tension between expectations and priorities. When commitments multiply but the hours in a day remain the same, something will eventually give. Without thoughtfully discerning what matters most to you, what usually erodes is self-care, balance, or time spent on what genuinely brings fulfillment.
Some of us fall into the habit of saying yes out of obligation, fear of disappointing others, or simply because we’re capable. But capacity isn’t infinite, and interest or skill doesn’t automatically mean we’re available. Even if we are, it doesn’t mean we need to agree. This topic is one that comes up often with my clients: how quickly they say yes to requests out of obligation, not wanting to let others down, or assuming they should agree simply because they are capable. They talk about the negative impact that comes from the automaticity of responding without first considering the impact their answer has on themselves—an answer that might have differed had they paused to ask the following before responding: Do I have the capacity to take this on (emotionally, mentally, and practically)? What would I need to move off my plate if I say yes? Am I saying yes to be helpful, or to avoid discomfort? What am I assuming will happen if I say no?
Declining requests, boundary-setting, or letting others down may challenge habits of people-pleasing or perfectionism, but these moments are also acts of self-respect. They encourage you to prioritize responsibly, show up fully for the commitments that matter most, and sustain your energy over time.
Letting go creates space to recalibrate and choose with clarity instead of default patterns. You are allowed to reassess what’s no longer working. You are allowed to change your mind, refine your priorities, and make different choices than you once did. Growth isn’t about doing more; it’s about thoughtfully deciding where to distribute your energy.
As you assess your current priorities, consider these questions:
What expectations am I placing on myself—and are they realistic?
Is how I'm spending my time aligned with my priorities and interests?
What am I committed to that no longer fits?
What would I gain by letting something go?
Two things can be true at the same time: feeling uncomfortable acting upon your changed priorities and feeling positive about following through with what you deem necessary. When facing these choices head-on, you build greater self-confidence by making decisions that reflect who you are today, allowing change to unfold through pausing and prioritizing.